My life-long struggle is not unique to me...it is apparently the lot of many who name the name of Christ. What I am referring to is the matter of doubt, that
nagging uncertainty that relentlessly plagues the minds of those who are
naturally self-conscious and introspective.
Does He love me?, or, does He loathe me? Am I really His, or, am I self-deceived? Have I experienced true saving faith and repentence?
It is a cruel foe, a pitiless task-master that never seems to tire in its assaults upon the minds and emotions of its victims!
I am an accomplished doubter...I am extremely adept at finding fault and failure within myself. I have wrestled and do wrestle with this vicious adversary on a daily basis....as I said above, it is a relentless opponent!
I also asserted above that I am not alone in this fight.....In talking and listening to others over the years it has become painfully evident that this particular malady is very wide spread and prevelant among professed believers.
Yes, I know full well what the scripture says concerning the atoning work of Christ, and the finished transaction of Calvary...and so do others, but, I also know of the scriptures that speak of self-deception and a false belief that one is under the salvific merits of the Lord Jesus.
The accusations come.....do you measure up here?....have you neglected to do that there?.......Where are the fruits and the evidences in you that are to characterize one who claims to be born from above?
So, the battle rages. On the one hand there is the clear declaration that Christ has put away sin by the sacrifice of Himself....a declaration that serves as an anchor and a bright light of hope that bursts forth upon the soul and mind of the guilty, and the despairing.
But soon, without fail, the doubts are resurrected in all their foul vitality and fury! Yes, they argue, the redeeming work of Christ is indeed true and real......but.....that awful word.....BUT!
But?......The accusing thoughts say......How do you know that these accomplishments of the Son are applied to you and are reckoned to your account?....How do you know that?.....If it were so, the thoughts continue like a room full of prosecuting attorneys, would not your life reflect more of the evidences of the New Birth?
There, in the midst of these conflicting thoughts, many, including myself, find ourselves regularly!
What is the remedy? Where is relief to be found? These charges ring true!....Does not the scripture declare again and again that the regenerate are a people that are known by their holy character and fruits?
I cannot answer these charges!....I cannot deny my guilt!.....I cannot find a reason, a righteousness, a feeling, or a ground of confidence when I look at myself!
I am a sinner!...I am wretched!....I am hopeless on my own!.....I have no plea...BUT CHRIST!!!
This is not a cop-out.....this is not a mind game......this is my only refuge from the Just Wrath of a Holy God!!
So, as I continue to be charged, as I continue to be accused, as the battle continues to assault me......I WILL PLEAD THE MERITS OF THE SAVIOR'S BLOOD!!
Here I Stand, I can do no other!! God Help Me!!
2 comments:
All I can do is fall before Him saying, "But You Said: If I confess (agree with you about) my sin, you are faithful (you do it every time) and just (it is the right thing to do) to forgive and clean me.
I agree that I am wretched. I agree that there is nothing I can do to please you. I also agree that You paid for me knowing full well who and what I am."
I don't know why, but by faith I believe that He did it anyway.
Craig
Yes He did Craig....Yes He did!!
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